Chronicles of a Food Addict

Thursday, May 10th > 2 Corinthians 3: 7-18 How does the process of being transformed into the image of God work on a day- to- day basis? Day 1: Good morning, Father!  I heard the Word on Sunday about how we all are subject to reconstruction and renovation, and that Your Holy Sprit will do it all if I just trust Him.  So here I am, Lord.  I'm trusting You to break the addictions off my life and help me depend totally on You Day 2: Good morning, Lord.  I  thank You for walking with me and showing me what I needed to put in my lunch pail yesterday.  I felt so good when I fixed that healthy meal-- and even better as I was eating it.  I see that You desire for me to be whole in EVERY area, so I will trust You EVERY step of the way. Day 3: Good morning, God.  Let me start out by repenting for only allowing Your Holy Spirit to be my Helper for PART of the day.  How foolish of me to think that I could do the rest on my own!  After lunch, my students got so restless and needy -- which I thought I handled pretty well.  I managed to answer their questions and tend to their needs calmly.  I didn't even raise my voice once!  But as soon as they left, I dove into that cookie jar like it was an oasis in the desert to a man dying of thirst.   It was almost as if I was a puppet being controlled by something... Or someone.  All I know is I got lost in the comforting sensation of devouring those cookies, and by the time I came to myself, the jar was empty.  Now I see why you want me to be led by the Spirit rather than my flesh.  Next time, I'll stop to consult You before letting my emotions rule.  Thank you for not hating me even though I deserve it. Day 4: Another day, Father.  PAYDAY!  Thank You for providing for my family.  I think I'll be able to splurge a little and get that dress I saw two weeks ago.    It's not much, but at least all our bills are paid and I thank You.  Hubby and I might even be able to do dinner and a movie.  Ahhhhh!  Life IS good.... Oh, that's my hubby on the phone.  I'll talk to You later. Day 5:  Help, Lord!  I can't seem to shake this feeling of helplessness I  experience every time something unexpected comes up!  I can't even begin to tell You how sorry I am that I dropped the ball again.  I just felt so disappointed that we didn't even have enough money left to do anything special for ourselves!  What are we doing wrong?  We are tithers and givers.  We live totally devoted to You.  Why do we have to go without so many times? Please don't think I'm making excuses for what I did.  But I WAS mad-- mad at the devil for controlling the financial aspects of this world.  When my hubby told me he had to use the extra money to replace all four tires on our car, I was just discouraged.  It felt so natural to wander to the fridge and consume ice cream.  I'm starting to think this attempt to give You complete control is not going to work.  Not because YOU are a failure.  Because I AM. I'm such a mess.  How can I get past this?  I really DO believe You are able to bring healing to my life.  Show me where all this started.  I'm ready to confront these demons.  Will You help me?  I need You...